Words Flow and Dam in the Heart

Would that relationships were easier than they are, or that parents were perfect and taught children perfect relationship skills. Alas, this life is all about falling on your face, picking yourself up and looking yourself in the mirror to figure out what went wrong. When it comes to words, I’ve always had more than enough, and used them to my advantage – until it’s a disadvantage. The love of my life would endearingly say that I had all of the words, all of the time, and a mentor at work called me a “wordsmith”, which was the greatest compliment I could’ve received. And yet, oftentimes my words are sent out as a desperate plea into an empty void, and as such, they fall flat. The accuracy which which I can convey my message is both a gift and a curse, depending on the situation and the level of Scorpio passion and impulse control I throw into my message and timing. But there’s more to consider:

Withholders vs. Conceders: a world apart doesn’t have to mean the end of the romance……

After sadness runs us through,

after love stretched across a life,

beyond the borderlines they draw

we see birth again.

First born to bird song, I knew nothing

of the language you were

fluent in. You, born to bomb sounds

and wars that chased you,

a decade of words I’d never heard,

me of some soft blowing breeze

and the curtains it played with.

Immeasurable, I call the dust from stars

that fills us despite this,

call it indescribable that somehow

mine is yours and yours is mine

and neither a galaxy of distance

nor the din of explosion

stopped it from being shared

between us.

Did you know when I knew,

from the outset, from the birth

of new beginning,

did you see me and call out Home

in that first language I could not

understand?

Started half a globe apart,

serenaded by such separate sounds,

but now, stillness,

and poetry that finally

makes sense.

–Tyler Knott Gregson–

(Check this fantastic writer out. I’ve followed him for sometime and his words always move me.)

The end only comes when the pattern wounds to the point that repair cannot be made.

Regardless of how much love is in your heart for your partner, there may come a point when the pain overshadows the love. The best course of action is to look at these communication mistakes early and identify where you’ve seen these patterns in your past, then work to alleviate them from your current relationship – or better yet, tackle the issue and identify your triggers before you’re in a romantic partnership, and when you identify unhealthy patterns in that relationship, try to overcome them, or walk away before you sacrifice hard earned health.

• An Invitation Without Remorse
  Within these essays I bare my heart, mind and soul, as such, they belong to no one but myself until you recognize some part of my experience to be yours as well. Vulnerability breeds community and community connects humanity. – Nikki Jensen
• Words Flow and Dam in the Heart
  When the rate of communication is imbalanced, both parties need to look within and determine what is driving their action or inaction.
This is healthy. This is love. This is mindful intent within a relationship.
• White Lies, Protection or Gaslighting
  The line is so fine it stinks of Pinot Noir. A rich, dark, delicious Pinot Noir one could get drunk off without paying very close attention to. When looking at the three terms in the title of this essay one can see that there are actually lines all over the place. Who draws the line, who gets to decide what constitutes a white lie (which, let’s admit, we’ve all told), a lie told to protect someone we love, and systematic lies told over a period of time that eventually drive a person mad? Ten years ago when I set out …
• The Choice is Vulnerability or Death
  Words, actions and vulnerability are inextricably connected. We can make ourselves vulnerable by our actions and words, and yet, our inaction and lack of words can do the same. 
Ultimately we must acknowledge the constant cost-benefit analysis at play. Choosing vulnerability will always pay in the long-run. The new Hulu movie, ‘Happiest Holidays’ is an excellent example of these ideas.
• Come Out and Come Around
  In order to see the beauty of this existence we call life, we must find the courage to fully come out of the shadows and live a raw, messy, gorgeous life full of errors and grace.- Nikki Jensen
• Parched and Perturbed
  With a booming population increasing in diversity, Utah is a state that has been touted as an ideal location to start a business venture. But with a myriad of laws established over the last 100 years by lawmakers who, for the most part, belonged to the Mormon church, this population is struggling to feel at home. How can it change?